My Plants Have Issues!

This is meant to be a tongue in cheek expose. I just spent an hour or so trying to whip bed #2, the herb bed, into shape. The weatherman was wrong again so despite the promised cooler temperatures it is still hot and humid. These were some of my thoughts as I worked. Sorry no pictures today.

My Plants Have Issues!

My plants have some serious issues! Where can I find a plant psychologist? I should have known I was in trouble when I saw them out there partying with the rabbits and drinking the slugs' beer. It should have been more of a clue when my square foot gardening book landed on my doorstep with a thud along with a note that read "not in your lifetime". A day or so later a ransom note showed up asking for organic fertilizer or else. So I gave in only to realize it was some sick trick on the veggies part. Oh yes, they wanted that fertilizer to use as a weapon!

No plant wants to stay in its alloted square foot. The lemon grass needs a serious time out! It got a real trimming today so at least my hands smell nice. Golden oregano is next but they already ganged up on me so I'm in the house planning my second line of attack. Speaking of attack, the zucchini and cucumber are just taking over. Both refuse to stay in their beds and have set up a picket line I can't cross. The cucumbers have taken over the phone lines and several of the paths. They stand guard for the zucchini as if that bully needs any guarding. But they aren't the only plants with issues!

The pole beans were given an eight foot trellis. Both are very nice trellises custom made just for their own private use. That should have been plenty but NO they want more! They have talked to their union and I'm sure they will be on strike soon or I'll get another ransom note. The tomatoes have decided to fight dirty usning end blossom rot as a weapon. I think we have them appeased for the moment. Then there is the herbs. They are waging their own little war! Who wins is anyone's guess.

The rabbits are taking note while sitting in my lounge chairs sipping sun tea and observing the whole affair. They send their scouts, the squirrels out to gather information. Once in awhile they send in reinforcement like a snake just to watch me do the happy joy joy dance or heart attack which ever comes first. They have bugged the house too. It's only one fly but it is a fly on the wall with a microphone and note pad. Very suspicious if you ask me ;)

Where the heck is Dr. Phil when you need him?

Happy Gardening

Garden Gnome